How good is enough?

SamuelGray_Contrived_charcoal_2012

Sometimes someone points out to me that I am the best artist they have ever seen. But, I know for a fact that I am pretty normal when it comes to my craft. Craft, as in skill level and how well I execute my ideas. I realize that I could obviously be a lot better in my art execution. I would say I don't understand color theory as well as I could and my figurative work could use improvement. So when someone says, "You are like the best artist I've seen!", I would like to sometimes reply with a "you have not seen that much art then." I usually just go with, "Wow, thank you. That means a lot to me.." Because it does. I know that they appreciate me as an artist/person and the work that I make. But I know that appreciation might not be as much as my skills/craft but more of what the message is saying or conveying. As I find myself growing as an artist and a follower of Christ, I see that the importance to pursue my skills doesn't weigh as much as my relationship with God and other people. Lately, I haven't really spent as much time as I would like on studying and reading art books and practicing new things for my work. And I don't really care. I usually just jump into a project and expect it to work out. And it has. I'm really enjoying the community I am in and the people that are around me. I do have some big project ideas that God willing I will get to. I have dreams of changing the world with my art, but more and more each day I see that there is no possible way that I can do that on my own. Only through the Spirit, if given that gift, can I make an impact with my work. My definition of making an impact would be determined on how people come closer to God and loving him, and loving other people. How they find the light in the darkness. That's what I want. Some days I wake up and see a different life of mine flash before my eyes if I didn't know I was a sinner in need of a savior. I also see all of the wonderful opportunities God has given me a taste of to see that lifestyle of trying to please myself with my art. I am so thankful for that. I have failed in relationships and have tried different things that just didn't work out. I thought I was going to travel the world and just make art all the time and sell it and get famous. Some of those things could still happen, but it would probably look different than what the world expects. I want to see how God is enough in my life and let his heart be mine. His eyes be mine. What he sees and feels be what I see and feel. I have been able to experience that through just spending time with people. I feel the spirit inside of me. He is telling me that He is enough.

So teach us to number our days

that we may get a heart of wisdom.

Psalm 90:12